Matt presses his nose to Frank's hair. He's happy to just hold him there, to enjoy having him back. Matt never knows how long it could be for. Things happen, they both have chaotic lives they can't leave behind, but maybe now they've come to peace with that.
"I don't know if I'm getting better or worse at taking a hit."
The familiar comfort of being in Matt's bed is soothing right now. After all is sad and done, what they've shared is... different. Matt understands his lifestyle in ways others can't and won't, and subjecting him to the Punisher is different than a civilian getting caught up in his bullshit.
"Maybe you need a break too. Just some time off. A couple days won't hurt, right?" Sighing out, his arms loop around Matt's middle to pull him closer on the bed. "Come here."
Well, Matt's not going to protest. He happily lets Frank bundle him closer, moving to sit across Frank's legs.
"You gonna take a break, too?"
He presses his nose to Frank's cheek then kisses him, quick and light, exhaling a sigh. Maybe Frank shouldn't bring Matt as much comfort as he does. But he always has, at least since Frank saved him on the rooftop. Guilt curls up inside him about the things he said about Frank, and he shifts, hoping to push it down.
Having this kind of physical intimacy again is surreal but important and he's glad Matt hasn't been pushing him away, even though they're easing back into a new normal. This can work, right? He wants it to.
"Yeah... if you will too." But they both know it won't last long, given how they feel about their respective responsibilities. One of his hands sneaks under Matt's shirt as he hugs him, just to feel the warmth of his skin, and he kisses him back gently. "But I won't stop you from doing your own shit."
They're adults, right? Matt doesn't see the point in denying that he missed this, or that as detached as he is he still wants human connection, or any point in pretending like they should start at the beginning. If they went back to square one every time they were apart, they'd never get anywhere.
"You've had a lot of excitement recently."
Which means, Frank should relax, but Matt knows better. First sign of trouble and they'll both be out there. For now, though, he's happy to lean into Frank.
After all the bullshit... why not deserve something nice and slow for once? Frank tries not to think about all that's happened since he left again, trying to bury those skeletons for good. Billy Russo is no longer his problem and he doesn't want his memory to taint something good in Frank's life again.
He presses his forehead to Matt's temple, looking down between them.
"I was kinda lost for a while when I thought you were dead," he admits quietly, lips pressing together as his jaw tenses. "I didn't know what to do. I didn't believe it."
Frank nods slowly, knowing that with all the shit Matt's been through, physically as well, he can't blame him for having his doubts or concerns. Frank knows all too well how it feels to be laid up broken in bed, feeling helpless and faithless.
"But you're still not me, right?" He nudges Matt gently. "I hope not."
He smiles, but it doesn't quit reach his eyes. Matt still doesn't know what he would have done had Vanessa not spoken up. Would he have crossed the line? It had been harder than ever to reign himself in at that moment.
But he was getting better at letting go of his hang ups. Maybe he wouldn't ever get to that point again.
"I really thought I was going to kill him, Frank. I really - It seemed like the only way."
In another time and space entirely, Frank would have berated him for not giving Fisk the killing blow, but they've both learned and changed much since that day on the rooftop. Frank knows the burden of taking a life and what that means from there on out, and it isn't something he thinks Matt could handle. Leave it to people like Frank to decide.
He gives Matt's middle a comforting squeeze, defensive and protective. Yeah, those emotions weren't on the forefront of his mind when they first met too.
"He definitely deserves it but not from you. That's not you." Frank knows Fisk will get what he deserves at some point, whether through Frank's means or someone else's. "Showing him mercy isn't something he expected, I'm sure."
"If I'd done it, then he would have won in the end." More or less. He thinks that maybe Fisk would have spent that last moment of life gloating.
It's not something worth thinking about. What is worth thinking about is Frank, and the two of them together, and how comfortable Matt feels being around him again.
"I was thinking I might call in sick to work today."
Yeah, he would much rather focus on the present as well. Frank has spent so many days lingering in the past, being haunted by the past, and wondering what he could have done to change things. With Russo in the ground he finally feels like he can let parts of those worries go at last.
Parts.
"Yeah? Since when are you irresponsible?" There's a smirk in his tone and Frank chuckles as he leans his head back against the headboard, content to sit here with Matt's weight on him. "Gonna spend the day with me?"
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Matt presses his nose to Frank's hair. He's happy to just hold him there, to enjoy having him back. Matt never knows how long it could be for. Things happen, they both have chaotic lives they can't leave behind, but maybe now they've come to peace with that.
"I don't know if I'm getting better or worse at taking a hit."
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"Maybe you need a break too. Just some time off. A couple days won't hurt, right?" Sighing out, his arms loop around Matt's middle to pull him closer on the bed. "Come here."
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"You gonna take a break, too?"
He presses his nose to Frank's cheek then kisses him, quick and light, exhaling a sigh. Maybe Frank shouldn't bring Matt as much comfort as he does. But he always has, at least since Frank saved him on the rooftop. Guilt curls up inside him about the things he said about Frank, and he shifts, hoping to push it down.
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"Yeah... if you will too." But they both know it won't last long, given how they feel about their respective responsibilities. One of his hands sneaks under Matt's shirt as he hugs him, just to feel the warmth of his skin, and he kisses him back gently. "But I won't stop you from doing your own shit."
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"You've had a lot of excitement recently."
Which means, Frank should relax, but Matt knows better. First sign of trouble and they'll both be out there. For now, though, he's happy to lean into Frank.
"I guess I have, too."
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He presses his forehead to Matt's temple, looking down between them.
"I was kinda lost for a while when I thought you were dead," he admits quietly, lips pressing together as his jaw tenses. "I didn't know what to do. I didn't believe it."
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He's not sure what else to say. Apologizing seems insincere, it definitely doesn't make up for all the bullshit Matt's pulled, but.
"I was pretty lost, too. I kept thinking about what you said to me once. I'm just one bad day away from being you. I get that now."
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"But you're still not me, right?" He nudges Matt gently. "I hope not."
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He smiles, but it doesn't quit reach his eyes. Matt still doesn't know what he would have done had Vanessa not spoken up. Would he have crossed the line? It had been harder than ever to reign himself in at that moment.
But he was getting better at letting go of his hang ups. Maybe he wouldn't ever get to that point again.
"I really thought I was going to kill him, Frank. I really - It seemed like the only way."
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He gives Matt's middle a comforting squeeze, defensive and protective. Yeah, those emotions weren't on the forefront of his mind when they first met too.
"He definitely deserves it but not from you. That's not you." Frank knows Fisk will get what he deserves at some point, whether through Frank's means or someone else's. "Showing him mercy isn't something he expected, I'm sure."
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It's not something worth thinking about. What is worth thinking about is Frank, and the two of them together, and how comfortable Matt feels being around him again.
"I was thinking I might call in sick to work today."
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Parts.
"Yeah? Since when are you irresponsible?" There's a smirk in his tone and Frank chuckles as he leans his head back against the headboard, content to sit here with Matt's weight on him. "Gonna spend the day with me?"